The millennial-verse is vocal about the concept of “adulting”, specifically how hard it is. Don’t get me wrong, all of us struggle to balance jobs, houses, families, and our checking accounts. Show me someone who pretends this is easy, I’ll show you someone who is straight up lying. Even those of us who are “good” at it tend to feel stressed and behind and as if they’ll never truly achieve balance. I happen to know this as an absolute truth; I live with one of those infuriating adults who makes it look easy. Trust me when I say that behind the scenes his juggling act is just as wobbly as the rest of ours.

The idea that you are not an adult if you can’t finish the checklist is ludicrous.

As I get older and more and more comfortable in my adult life (even as I create more uncertainty by constantly reinventing myself), I have slowly come to realize that true adulting is not about checkbooks and jobs and insurance and making it all look good. Adulting is about learning how to create happiness and balance in your spiritual and emotional lives even more than it is about keeping a roof over your head. Yes, it’s necessary to do all the things so you can afford to live on your own and support yourself and your family. What is not necessary is to be perfect and get all of the boxes on your lists checked off every day. The idea that you are not an adult if you can’t finish the checklist is ludicrous. Let’s all be a little more realistic regarding what life is about and why we are even doing the adult things in the first place.

Next time you start to feel like this adult b*llshiz is just too much, I want you to take a step back, analyze the situation, and let go of the idea that perfection equals success. There are 3 distinct things that mark you as a true adult. None of them involves trying and hoping and pretending that accomplishing just one more thing will get you where you want to go.

3 Easy and Impactful Ways to Finally Be a Successful “Adult”

1 Be Authentic. When you platform your “success” of off someone else’s success, personality, or process; you will ultimately fail. Be who you are, live in your truth, and don’t apologize for not being like anyone else.

2 Ask for help. This is a two-parter. Real adults know they do not live on an island of one. There is no shame or weakness in admitting you are not the best at everything you do. Part two is also very important. Make sure you show your thanks and gratitude to your support system. They’ll feel great, and you’ll feel much more capable of moving forward with your adult life knowing you did the right thing both for yourself and for them.

3 Be kind to yourself. Specifically, STOP with the perfectionism already. I am so very serious about this. Real adults have learned that achievements are fleeting and not worth nearly as much as experiences. It is our tendency, especially as we compare ourselves to other “successful” people around us, to focus negatively on that which we have not accomplished or done well. I’m telling you, this needs to stop.

You did not grow up and go out into the world just to find ways to make yourself feel bad for being less than perfect. Peace and happiness are more valuable than any paycheck, clean kitchen, new car, high-powered job, or social status.

So, before you beat yourself up (again) for not cooking a healthy meal every night or for not being as advanced in your career as you’d like to be, I want you to ask yourself two questions:

1 Am I causing myself more pain by leaving this task undone, or by telling myself I am a failure because I didn’t do it?

2 Can I execute on my honest answer from question #1? I sure as h*ck hope the answer is yes. So go do it, or don’t. Then move on.

XOXO,